Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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