If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize