I just cut my nipple shaving
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
