i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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