what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
