So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
im on a boat
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