I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
