i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
