she was so not down for the gang bang
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
