the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.