I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
