youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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