Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.

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  (817): Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house. (405): Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box. (817): I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift. http://tfl.nu/erp5
  Replies (103) Good night (1470) Bad night (2940)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  i want to fuck

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  ?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  it's pretty self explanatory

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  (701): i want to fuck (320): ? (701): it's pretty self explanatory http://tfl.nu/ul4n
  Replies (62) Good night (7711) Bad night (1053)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
  Replies (46) Good night (8029) Bad night (916)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.

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  (770): just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/9iko
  Replies (118) Good night (27784) Bad night (4833)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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  (973): My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items" (973): That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic" http://tfl.nu/yk9d
  Replies (13) Good night (4714) Bad night (1173)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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  (703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc
  Replies (19) Good night (6158) Bad night (1428)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.

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  (443): Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that. http://tfl.nu/hvnx
  Replies (11) Good night (4749) Bad night (1315)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.

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  (250): Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for. http://tfl.nu/ra5n
  Replies (10) Good night (4100) Bad night (813)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.

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  (304): Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day. http://tfl.nu/phv5
  Replies (4) Good night (2601) Bad night (1312)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice

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  (908): I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice http://tfl.nu/gs1d
  Replies (6) Good night (1346) Bad night (1909)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.

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  (303): You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him. http://tfl.nu/i4cz
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (687)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept

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  (502): How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept http://tfl.nu/59ls
  Replies (13) Good night (595) Bad night (1720)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal

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  (775): You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal http://tfl.nu/airp
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (389)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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  (818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa
  Replies (0) Good night (740) Bad night (358)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck

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  (812): dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck http://tfl.nu/q60e
  Replies (9) Good night (460) Bad night (1161)

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