Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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