Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
