What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
