The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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