were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
