you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
