so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
