How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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