I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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