god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
