Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
