Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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