He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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