look no pants
My liver just broke up with me...
is wine microwaveable?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize