He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
