I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
