She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
why is half of my head shaved?
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