My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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