ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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