2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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