Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
