her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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