I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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