you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
