you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
