if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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