your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
