Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
