You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
