i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
