woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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