Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
