1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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