I CAN MOONWALK!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
