Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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