Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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