But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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