I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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