His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
