She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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