he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
