Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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