do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
